So, as you can see my darling followers–I have been on a hiatus. There haven’t been any new items in the shop or blog posts or my typical weekly goddess inspiration post. I’ve been going through a lot of difficult emotions lately and personal health issues and needed to step away. One of the most important things a healer can learn is when to take a step back and focus on one’s self. If I am not ready to heal or offer services or readings, I shouldn’t. If I am unable to come from a place of tranquility and oneness, then I should not be pretending that I am. Some professional psychics and healers have to struggle through this, when this is what pays all of their bills. For me, I have another job so I keep chugging along at the other job and keep this as a passion project. I want Wondrous Wave to grow but I’m unable to focus as much time and energy at the moment to make it grow so it’s just doing what it can for now and that’s okay.
It’s hard to heal yourself when you’d rather heal others. It’s hard to love yourself when you’d rather love others.
Self love is something that does not come easy, I’ve been cultivating mine for some time now and it’s still a challenge. Everyday I’ve been trying to tell myself that I love myself (whether this be as I’m getting ready for the day or when I am upset.) Everyday I’ve been trying to go easy on myself and take care of my body, like I do actually care about it. How much care and attention do you give your body? Do you stop to bandage a cut when you cut yourself or do you keep working? Do you monitor your diet and think about healthy choices or do you eat whatever is fast, cheap and greasy? Do you keep up with showering, brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, getting enough rest and clipping your fingernails? All of these seemingly simple things are difficult for people with mental health issues. The lack of care and time spent on yourself eventually takes a toll. You end up beating yourself up for all the knots in your hair, the long toe nails that are now digging into your other toes in your tight shoes and your socks got bloody. You sleep too much or not often enough. It’s a slippery slope of ignoring the self until you beat yourself up about ignoring yourself, this process is very unhealthy. The only way out of it is through and the only way through is to force yourself.
I truly do believe in positive affirmations, if I keep stating positive affirmations I believe them and then things change. I tell myself I love myself and then I do. I tell myself that I am beautiful and then I am. I tell myself that I am love and then I become love. Words are powerful things.
Another agent of my healing process has been the Goddess Wadjet. She is from Ancient Egypt (big surprise there, if you’ve kept up with me on Instagram you’d know that I’m a new follower of the Kemetic Orthodox faith.) While I have had other interactions with Goddesses of Egypt, Wadjet came to me–I did not come to her, I don’t think. I have green hair and I offhandedly said that I was feelin’ some Wadjet vibes, as her name translates to The Green One or The Green Lady. I only knew a little about her before she came to me. I knew that she was one of the Two Ladies or guardians of the Pharaoh and a protective goddess. That’s it. This paints her to be pretty flat and linear, not a very three dimensional being, almost archetypal– protector goddess. When in actuality, She is so much more. When you think of green you probably think of green grass or the leaves of a tree. Wadjet is also a goddess of new growth, which makes total sense to me once I thought about it. All things green are growing and the new growth of a tree is usually green. She is a cobra goddess and snakes shed their skins, another metaphor for healing and new growth. She changes and she grows, she is not static. She is also protectoress of children, a fierce mother. I tend to lean more towards maiden or crone goddesses, so the mother aspect is new to me but who else would you want when you are sick or upset?
I have imagined her green healing energy coiling around my body, like a snake and with each tight coil–a hug, an embrace, and a wave of healing and rejuvenation. She has come to me and I thank her for that. She came when I did not feel strong and she is the protector of Pharaoh’s, an Eye of Ra, a cobra rearing her head to strike. She gave me some of that strength and I thank her for that.
Recently, I was at a shop and I saw a group of necklaces with Kemetic deities on them, it was some sort of “Egyptian Astrology” group of necklaces and you were supposed to find your birthday month and that deity was your sign…I guess? Even though any Egyptologist would argue with that as there were festival months for deities but no Egyptian astrology like our western concepts of astrology. Anyways, I saw the Wadjet necklace and immediately had to have it even though it was for October (not my birth month.) I made the mistake of wearing this necklace to work, the charm just on a black cord that I tied in a knot. I was working and when we got to break, my necklace was gone. I thought to myself “if it’s gone, it’s gone and She is not for me. If I find it, She will stay.” A coworker of mine found the charm but the black cord was never to be found. I rejoiced in this and will soon put the charm on a chain. Later, I was looking at the Kemetic Calendar and found a website run by a temple member that has a calendar that has the Gregorian Calendar and the Kemetic Calendar so you can know what festival day is coming up, it’s rather nifty. I looked up my birthday just for fun and it turns out by the Kemetic Orthodox calendar my birthday is in Wadjet’s festival month! I was so pleased and felt immediately validated.
Green is also the color of the heart chakra. The center for love, self love, healing and compassion. I have NEEDED green the past month. Whether I realized it or not, I was doing some serious heart chakra work, my hair is green, my lipstick is green, I’ve been wearing green (when I didn’t have to wear black for work.) It’s kinda funny that I did this unintentionally and realized it later.
Many healers become healers because they need to be healed. This is so true. We want to heal others because we know pain and have seen people we love in pain. We want to heal, we want to reduce the suffering of the world. If that means that we have to check out every now and again to take care of ourselves, that’s okay. I’m telling you, it’s okay. Don’t feel bad, don’t beat yourself up over not being there for others. Give yourself time to become the most authentic you that you can be, let that be a gift to the world. Love yourself first and the universe will love the you that you love in turn.
Love, Compassion, Joy, Healing and Rejuvenation to you (if you choose to accept it)